The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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