Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
