just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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