Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
