I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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