he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
