If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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