plz talk dirty to me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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