Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
