I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And then he peed in my hair
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