Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
