You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
