I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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