Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
