**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
jump out the window naked night went bad
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