That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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