I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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