Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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