Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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