So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
