i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
