this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
