Ambien. No doubt about it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
