Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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