I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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