I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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