i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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