if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize