got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
