Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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