so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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