All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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