im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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