Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
