Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well you can't waste a boner
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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