So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
