just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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