my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
