Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
