Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
