Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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