Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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