Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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