I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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