Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
