He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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