Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
