Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
