how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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