I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
