I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize