Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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