Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
