She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
