Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am naked and annoyed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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