First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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