you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
