You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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