i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
