check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize