I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
