her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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