I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
